someone presented the question to me recently “how do you see your life if you could write it”. it was a strange concept to wrap my mind around. often, we’re told that we write our own story and to an extent, i believe that is true…but only in a very small part. we aren’t the sole authors of our story. and honestly, i find great comfort in that. if i held the pen to my life, if i directed every aspect on my own, if i had to decide every detail i’m fairly certain i would suffer from major anxiety, stress and depression. i find rest in the fact that i don’t direct the course of my life. i tell my Author what the desires of my heart are and leave them at His feet. i present Him with the draft; a draft of how i think my life should go, the things i want to see happen, the person i aspire to be, things i want to accomplish. and then, then my incredible Creator, my all inspiring Writer writes my story.
if i could write my life, what would i write? would i be successful? would i have a recognized brand with images people could say “those are cassie’s photos”? would i have a thriving business, shooting incredible weddings twice a month, engagement sessions completely personalized to the couple and the way they love? would i be able to reach within myself and creative new ideas, stylized shoots that were mine, not an emulation of someone else? would i have a blog read by hundreds full of comments and interactions with my clients and photographers? would i be published? would i have relationships with vendors, editors, florists, planners, djs, make up artists? would those relationships be relationships i could count on; would they be inspiring, supportive and encouraging? would i have a life with my husband full of love and passion and trust and respect and meaning? would we travel for fun, for weddings, to spend time with family? would we have times of quiet, on the porch with glasses of wine, talking over our futures, our dreams? would we have a family in a home we’ve built? if i could write my life, what would i write?
i’ve been mia lately, due to no fault of my own, due to situations completely out of my control, situations i would never have written into my own story. as i submitted to the story i was given, i struggled with the why. for the first week i pouted around, basically throwing mini tantrums at my God, my Author questioning His plan. the next week, i tried to embrace it, to see what i could do within the place i was. because to an extent, i do write my story…but in the end, submission is far greater than my feeble attempts to dictate my own plan. submission to the plan that i dont know, the story that i cant flip forward to the next chapter and see whats coming. submission to the One who writes my story through to perfection.
dwell in possibility…
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Beautiful 🙂