i used to rearrange my room on a regular basis. every few months or so i could flip the room completely or shift a few things here and there, swap out some photos or buy a new lamp. once, i even moved every piece of furniture around, hated it, and moved it right back. i think the only thing i ended up moving from it’s original place was my semi-lifesized stuffed panda bear. i even remember once, i asked my mom if i could get rid of my bed frame and put the mattress straight on the floor. my mother, who had just made me a headboard out of a piece of fence, was not okay with that request.
after andrew and i were married and we moved into our first apartment, probably close to the second month window, my urge to rearrange things kicked in. sadly, our first little home wasnt how shall we say, well…lets just say it was tiny. and things only fit in the rooms one way and one way only. so much for that.
when andrew and i bought our first home, the possibilities of where everything could go and how to decorate and all of that was incredibly exciting. i’m sure andrew really didnt care, but it kept me occupied. until recently, i’ve stayed occupied. there’s only one room in our house that’s horribly in need of some tlc and that’s the guest room. instead of a guest room, it’s turned into an everything room. there are suitcases on the floor, things to be added to craigs list, boxes of andrews old school books, paintings that need to find a home on some wall in some room…it’s a hodgepodge in that sad little room. until recently, my urge to rearrange has been held at bay due mainly to that hodgepodge. i couldnt move on in the house until every room was complete. or at least something that could pass for complete until i thought of something better. i’m ashamed to admit that last month. i closed the door and pretended it didnt exist. as soon as this occurred, i found myself acutely aware of how badly i wanted to rearrange something, change things up, move the couch, paint the piano, buy a pool. yeah, that reaction you just had. that was andrew’s reaction. a pool? if you need a visual of our backyard. it’s about as big as half of a swimming pool. if we wanted a pool, a kiddie pool would have to suffice.
so here i am. it’s thursday and the thing that i love most is something that i cannot do. rearranging furniture. and today, as i tried to figure out what i could rearrange…i realized something: this beautiful first home andrew and i purchased and our first ever couch and all our furniture…it only fits into this house in one way. so again, i cant rearrange a single room! or at least not yet. i’m still desperately trying to find a room i can move things around in.
it’s a love hate thing. i love to rearrange. i hate the overwhelming urge to rearrange all. the. time.
dwell in possibility…
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